Friday, October 1, 2010

Life is precious

Yes, life IS precious

Over the past few years I have had lives touch me in ways they never have before.

There was the early birth of my twins Ty and Cayden who spent 5 weeks in the NICU 4 hrs away from my home. We painstakingly made the trip up there for weekends at a time feeling the heartbreak every time we had to say good bye and drive back home again. Its hard to see our babies so helpless and hard to come home knowing there was an empty crib beside our bed waiting for them. My heartbreak was lifted some when my Mom came to visit and stayed with me so I could be there for more than 2 days at a time. I was grateful.

Yes, life is precious and they finally came home and have turned into healthy young boys who I love with all my heart.

The same year my boys were born, 5 months later, a close friend of our family was taken from us by an unnamed vile coward. This person just hit our friend in the head and left him there to die!
A piece of my heart was taken from me, he was someone I looked to for advice and support. He was one of my best friends who taught me a lot of things about myself and others.

Yes, life is precious because you never know when evil will strike and take someone away from you.

Then time had passed and a little girl was beaten by cancer. A precious, innocent, beautiful little girl who had a twin just as beautiful as her. She had Neuroblastoma and fought so hard. In the end cancer won like it does with so many who have this type.
It devasted her family and everyone who knew them. It broke my heart, but I cannot imagine the pain her family went and is still going through. I know Ive carried the pain for their loss and fear for my own children.

Yes, life is precious and Cancer SUCKS!
That little girl has touched the lives and hearts of many people.

More time went on and I would think about the family I left behind and the family that has left me behind. Sometimes fear would creep in and I would think what if? What if one of my parents were to pass away, or my grandmother. Even worse my husband or child.
There were days I was paralyzed with fear and would cry over something that hasnt happened. I never felt that way before, I never feared death because I believe in God and his purposes.
It made me yearn for my family and miss those who were not near even more.

Yes, life was precious to me.

Just this past week I was hit harder than I have been before.
My Father passed away, he was only 65.
He had pneumonia and other ongoing problems. His body just couldnt keep up with fighting the virus and his heart stopped.
My Dad was not perfect, he made lots of mistakes but he was also a good person too in his own ways. No matter what happened in the past the present I had learned was more important.
He had finally got to see his granddaughters again, met his grandsons and great granddaughters over the summer, two months ago!! Two months ago was the first time I saw him in 8 years and the last time I will ever see him again. The plans we made to see each other more often.....gone!
Now I sit here 2000 miles away trying to find my closure.
Only way I can is to go back home and remember what was and try not to think about what would have been. Somehow pull it out from deep inside of me and find peace. Take those who are still with me and hold them close and let them know I do really care even though I am so far away.

Life IS precious to me!

"And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things will have passed away."
Revelation 21:4


debi9kids said...

Oh Tab. This is so beautiful & yet so sad. I am so very sorry for your loss and so glad you are making the trip to see your family and pay your respects to your dad.
Love you!
(and glad I got to meet you, even though the circumstances stink)

Terri said...

Absoulutely beautiful post, Tab. Yes, LifeIS precious. All too often it is too late when we remember.

Denise said...

What an amazing post. It was beatiful. My thoughts and prayers are will you.

Debbie Moore said...

You are right life is precious! Thinking of you! Glad you got some time with your dad, glad he got to meet you little men. So sad for you.

The Romero-Schroeder said...


Alisha said...

This is a beautiful post! Life is precious. I am so sorry for your loss. :(